Simmi has been a little “off” for the last few days after we deviated from the schedule we have with her and decided to take her out. Dom took her to church where there is a playground in the back. She loved being there and since its covered, a lot of light was kept out. She explored inside the church and when she got home did ok for a bit, but then she started with the screaming again. I think it was just an overload for her. Anyway, today started out pretty good although we could still tell something wasn’t right with her. In the mid-afternoon I went to give her some lunch and POW!!! I got hit with what seemed like a psychotic child. I have never seen such a display of anger and hostility before in my life. I sat there almost in shock, trying to make sense of what was going on. She was irrational, flapping her hands, waving and swinging at me, and finally trying to hurt herself as well. If I looked at her or tried to say anything to her, she would start swinging again. I tried to change her diaper and she thrashed me with her legs and feet as though I were a stranger and she was being murdered. The screams were so bad that it hurt my ears. She would cover her own ears as she screamed also. After I changed her, she got up and tried to push me off of her blanket. She didn’t even want me near her belongings. If I touched a toy or even tried to offer her food she would freak out and start screaming “NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Over and over again. I was trying to make heads or tails and wondered if she is just hitting those terrible two’s or if this is something that she can’t help. I felt powerless in that moment. My children never went through anything remotely like this when they were two years old. Each of them were awesome, and never aggressive or self harming.
She would calm down and just when I thought she was at peace, I’d move or say “Hi” to her and she would start all over again. After I said hi to her, she made her way over to her crib and hid between the wall and crib. From their she was watching me. If I looked at her or said something, she would start banging her head against the wall and start screaming again. It was beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. There was a part of me that wanted to discipline her for this behavior…then that small voice in the back of my head would say “what if she can’t help what she is doing right now?” Would she even understand? I decided to just sit and be very still, not looking at her or talking. I sat far across the room alone. She then started to smile, and acted like nothing ever happened and went over to her bowl of food. She didn’t want to sit in her seat when I first offered her food…she then and looked at the bowl of rice and broccoli, and reached for it. Now, I know this is going to sound cruel, but I actually moved the food to the top of the dresser where she couldn’t reach it. I felt that if all her screaming was actually over the fact that she didn’t want to sit in her seat, then I’d be damned if this child was going to just start eating it without listening to me. When I put the bowl out of reach, she started screaming, hitting and trying to push me out of the room. I stood my ground and wouldn’t budge. She started hitting herself again and finally stopped crying. After about five minutes she walked over to me, smiled and said “eat?” Then she went over to her chair and sat herself down. I smiled at her, put her tray on the seat and let her eat. She ate every bite and acted as if she never had any kind of hysterical meltdown. Dom came home while she was eating and she just turned around smiling and said “Hi!” and then continued to eat. What is going on? It seems as if she was pulling a power play on me. I am always super cautious when it comes to disciplining her because I never know if she is lashing out because she is in pain or if she is just being willful. Imagine if you will, that sweet little child turning into a miniature Hulk (minus the green and muscles).
If this is just a case of “The Terrible Two’s” then I am TERRIFIED! (I say that with a smile)
Tags: behavioral problems, disciplining a toddler, self harm, terrible twos
October 1st, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Hi Friend! I feel for you! Here are a few things that helped with Caleb. Sunglasses in the car if she will wear them. But I do remember having a pull down blind in the van windows when he was little too. Also these head phones that block out noise- Cait needed them for Calebs screaming! It was ear piercing!! When Caleb was older he needed them for the car ride home from preschool because of the sensory overload! Oh and a weighted blanket, pillow or heavy stuffed animal(fill with beans, rice or metal magnets). Very calming. Though at first I helped him use it then eventually he would initiate using it. Can she play with dried beans or rice? That too was very helpful for Caleb. My friends husband made a table for her boy Adam with beans and rice and Caleb loved it! I hope these help! I will keep you, Dom and Simmi in my prayers!!
Be blessed friend!
October 1st, 2009 at 8:07 pm
OMG! Hello Mellisa! Thanks so much for the feedback! I’ll be emailing you so we can catch up woman! I miss you so much.
Give Cait and Caleb a kiss for me!
Muah!